Tantrums are common in young children, especially between about 1 and 4 years. At this age children have strong feelings and wants, but limited words and self-control. A tantrum is often a sign of an overwhelmed child, not a badly behaved one.
Common triggers
- Hunger, tiredness or illness.
- Frustration at not being able to do something, or not being understood.
- Sudden transitions, such as being taken away from play without warning.
- Hearing “no” to something they want very much.
During a tantrum
- Keep your child and others safe. Move them away from danger if needed.
- Stay calm and close. Your calm voice and presence help their body settle. Long explanations do not help in the moment.
- Name the feeling simply. “You are angry because we have to leave the park.”
- Hold the limit. If the tantrum started because of a “no”, giving in teaches that tantrums work. Be kind but steady.
- Reconnect afterwards. A hug, then move on. There is no need for punishment.
Preventing some tantrums
- Keep meals, snacks and sleep regular.
- Give a warning before changes: “Two more slides, then we go home.”
- Offer small choices: “Red cup or blue cup?”
- Notice and praise calm moments.
- Agree on the same responses among parents, grandparents and helpers, so the child gets one clear message.
When to ask for advice
Speak with a doctor or a qualified child psychologist if tantrums are very frequent, regularly last a long time, involve your child hurting themselves or others, happen alongside delays in speech or social skills, or are still frequent past about age 5. Support for parents is effective and is not a sign of failure.
Sources and further reading
- American Academy of Pediatrics — HealthyChildren.org: temper tantrums
- NHS — Temper tantrums