Toilet training: signs of readiness and a calm approach

There is no single right age for toilet training. Many children show readiness between 18 months and 3 years, and some a little later. Starting when your child is ready usually makes the process shorter and calmer.

Signs your child may be ready

• Stays dry for about two hours at a time, or wakes dry from naps.
• Shows discomfort with a wet or dirty nappy, or tells you about it.
• Can follow simple instructions and say or signal “need to go”.
• Can pull pants down and up with a little help.
• Shows interest in the toilet or in copying family members.

A calm approach

• Pick a steady time. Avoid starting during a move, a new sibling’s arrival or illness.
• Use a potty or a child seat with a footstool, so your child feels stable.
• Offer regular sits, for example after waking, after meals and before bath, for a few minutes only.
• Use clear, simple words that everyone at home agrees on.
• Praise the effort, not only success.
• Treat accidents as normal. Clean up calmly, without shaming or punishment. Punishment tends to create fear and holding, which makes training harder.
• Teach hand washing as part of every visit.

Night-time and setbacks

Staying dry at night often comes later than daytime control. Wetting the bed is common in young children and usually improves with time. Temporary setbacks during stress, illness or big changes are also common.

When to ask for advice

Speak with a doctor if your child has pain when passing urine or stool, hard or infrequent stools, blood in urine or stool, was dry for months and suddenly starts wetting often, or is well past 4 years with little daytime progress. Constipation is a frequent and treatable cause of toilet training difficulty.